Raising Children With Thought and Repetition

Thought and Repetition

Get the picture? Raising children takes thought and repetition. As your children grow it seems you just keep hearing yourself repeat the same things over and over and over and over (and over?).

I have four children. I have filled a bookshelf with parenting books. I have been to parenting conferences. I've also been in a mom's group.

In short, I take my job as a parent seriously. This is what it means to put thought into raising your children. Do you think about the example you are setting, the values you are instilling, and the skills you are teaching?

Raise your children with strength and intention.

The little sponges (not to be confused with Sponge Bob) are absorbing it all. It is your responsibility as a parent to make sure that what they are absorbing is going to benefit them later in life instead of holding them back.

Help them thrive to make themselves, your family, and our communities stronger.

These everyday ideas are simply those little things you can never say enough as you are raising children. As your children grow you may phrase them a little differently, but the message stays the same.

Most of these everyday ideas can be (and should be) applied to yourself as well. Set an example of what you want your children to be as you are raising children.

The old - do as I say not as I do really does not work. Instead remember - actions speak louder than words.

I tell my little ones, "Don't forget to wash your hands...clean hands are happy hands!" I ask my older children,"Did you remember to wash your hands?" (I add "clean hands are happy hands" once in a while because I know secretly they still like to hear it.) Keeping germs at bay protects them and others.

"You are what you eat." That's it. It doesn't change. If you want to feel good you have to eat well. If you take care of your body it will have a better chance at lasting a long time. Your children will be able to do the things that excite them because their bodies will be strong.

"Practice makes perfect." It takes time to get good at things. Children need encouragement to stick with something to improve at it. As you are raising children this everyday idea helps support them to help them develop qualities like determination and delayed gratification.

Give them credit, not just for results, but also for effort. Let them know they don't have to be perfect (and won't be perfect).

They just need to keep giving their best effort and hopefully show progress.

"Treat others how you want to be treated." Ask things like, "How would you feel if someone did that to you?" When they put themselves in the other guys shoes they may see things from another perspective. By thinking of others your children will learn to be generous.

"Good Job. Way to go!" Children are looking for your approval. When they do something right be sure to catch them in the act. This will reinforce their good behaviors and good habits.

Make sure you say it out loud. Silent praise does not work because no one ever hears it. Don't be afraid of giving your children a big head.

(The world will take care of making sure their head doesn't get too big.)

"Take your time." Let them take their time to get something right without rushing. When you get it right the first time you don't have to do it over. Allowing children to take their time will lower their stress. It's easier to accomplish something when they aren't in a hurry.

Often rushing your children will only take longer. (Sometimes it's best not to let them know you are in a hurry - even if you are.)

When your are raising children help them to distinguish what things need to be done at a certain time and which things can wait.

Learning to prioritize is a skill that will come in handy in all walks of life.

"I love you baby." For the little ones they like to see you spread your arms and show them how much and grab them in a hug. The olders ones are content with a more dignified, "Love ya!" (You can add "baby" once in a while and they're never too big for hugs.)

Its easy to say this when they've just made a grand accomplishment. Don't forget to say it when they've just let you down or screwed something up.

Life is difficult. This everyday idea should not be forgotten. Life is full of hard choices and challenging obstacles.

Don't be tempted to make everything easy for your child. They need to learn to deal with life's difficulties and disappointments as well as the joys.

So...support them through the hard times.

And...reassure them that everything changes. The hard times won't last forever. The sun will come out again. The bad times are what help make the good times so wonderful.

As you are raising children and repeating these everyday ideas you are reinforcing things like self discipline and good habits. You are reiterating the importance of rules. Your praise and approval lets them know they are on the right track.

Raising children with thought makes the time you spend together as a family over a lifetime more fun and creates good memories.

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